Pseudo Phantom
by Aerodynamic-Tama
Summary: 18-year-old Tamanosuke has dreamed of becoming a serial killer under the name "Pseudo Phantom" ever since he was 8. He decides to carry his dream after his high school graduation, but something unexpected happens as he seeks out his first victim.
1. Chapter 1: Tsuchiyama Tamanosuke

_Ahh... _

I toss and turn around in my bed - seems like another restless night. It feels way too hot in these covers, but it's only April. It shouldn't be so hot in April. I try to pull my covers off until I stupidly let my arm slam into my desk. I grab at my arm, still buzzing with pain, as my thoughts get to me again. God damn, it's still dark? What time even is it? I look around half-awake and find my alarm clock. I still can't see straight, so I squint my eyes to read that it's still about 4 AM in red lettering.

"Damn," I say with a sigh, "Why can't I sleep?" I fall back down onto my bed, letting my pillow fall off the side. Since I can't fall asleep, I get up and look out of my window. I see a crow fly by, as a little bit of sunlight can be seen trying to poke its head out from behind the hills—it's still pretty dark out. I rest my head on my hand and whisper to myself, "Only one week left, huh? Heh. I've been waiting for this day for a long time."

I guess I should introduce myself. My name's Tsuchiyama. Tsuchiyama Tamanosuke. You can call me Tama if it's too long. Sorry for such an annoyingly long name. Dad came up with it after mom walked out on him. She'd always yell at him, screaming things like, "Why are you such drunk?! You never stop drinking!" and "You don't even care for your own son!" She really just walked out to prove that my dad couldn't take care of me, but his personality completely flipped. Now he's a hard-working, busybody, constantly worrying over what I'm doing and where I am. I don't complain because I can't complain; he's a great dad, I guess.

Like most people, I've had this dream ever since I was 8-years-old. Unlike most boys, I didn't wanna be some sports star or doctor or anything. Everyone found my dream so odd when I finally opened up about it. You wanna know what it is? You probably won't care much, but I've been wanting to be a serial killer. I still do, heh. Weird right? My fourth grade teacher told my dad that was "disturbing" when I finally admitted it. It's not like it was dad's fault I wanna be a serial killer. It's nobody's fault really, I just _want_ to be a serial killer.

I pick at my teeth with my pinky as the breeze blows past my face. I guess I should be specific as to why I want to be a serial killer, but I bet you wouldn't care much. I honestly just like how whenever there's some serial killer on the loose, it takes the cops forever and a half just to catch 'em. I guess I just wanna see if I can make it as a serial killer. Weird, am I right? Or would "disturbing" fit better? Hell, I'm surprised none of my friends are creeped out by this dream of mine.

No point in wasting time rambling. I spread my arms out and stretch as I let out a big yawn. I peer back at my alarm clock and only 10 minutes have passed by. I know I won't be able to fall back to sleep, so I might as well get ready for school. I wash my face, change into my school uniform, and head out. Suburbs always look the best early in the morning, since there aren't so many people out. Nice morning breezes, peaceful silence; just makes you think. You may be disgusted but I honestly plan out murders this way—peacefully, quietly. They actually take a lot of time to plan and carry out, y'know?

While thinking about possible ways to murder someone, I hop onto the train and sit down as it carts me off to school. There are a lot of people on the train at 5 AM, surprisingly. Ah well. As I look out of the window across from me, something taps my shoulder before I zone out too much. I jump up a bit only to see my friend, Shimoda Kazuki, wave at me.

"Well hey there, Tama-kyun~!" He says with his goofy-looking grin, "How are ya today?"

"Huh? Oh hey, Kazuki."

"Well aren't you lively?" He chuckles while nudging me.

"What is it?" I groan while moving his elbow away.

"Jeez, Sleeping Beauty, I thought you'd be excited."

I yawn and wipe a tear from the corner of my eye, "W-well of course I am!"

"Still going to follow up with that _dream_ of your's?" He asks while messing my hair up.

"Kazuki, you sound more dumb than usual now," I say as I swat his hand off of my head and fix up my hair, "Of course I am, I would've given up that dream years ago if I wasn't serious about it." He looks around the booth and gives a half-assed sigh. For some reason, that half-assed sigh just annoys me.

"So?" I groan.

"Mmm? So what?" He peeps.

"What's got your panties in a bunch?"

"You should be asking yourself that one, Sleeping Beauty!" He sings, and that goofy grin pops up again.

I want to punch that goofy face of his, but I flick his nose instead.

"O-ow! Hey!" He yelps as he covers his nose, "What was that for?"

"What's got your panties in a bunch, pretty boy?" I repeat with a sly grin on my face.

"Ah, dammit Tama," he whines, still covering his nose, "Y'know, I honestly thought that that whole _serial killer_-thing of your's was some inside joke of our's. You do know that if you follow up with this whole thing, you'll be putting yourself in danger? If you _**do**_ become a serial killer, they won't let you live! We won't be able to hang out again!"

"You shouldn't be worrying your pretty little head about all those details, Kazuki. You'll get wrinkles early." I hear myself say with that cocky grin, "I'll find a way around the whole thing. There are always loopholes. I'll still be able to be your best man at your wedding, and I'll be around when you go through possible marriage troubles!" I pat his back and let out a nervous chuckle. _Why am I feeling nervous? Did I piss him off too much?_

"Damn it, Tama~" I hear him say. Next thing I know, my nose is being yanked on. He sucks on his teeth and tells me, "Y'know what? You're a real champ!"

"Ah! Okay! Okay! I give! I give!"

He lets go of my nose and that goofy-looking grin of his shows up again. It surprisingly doesn't piss me off this time. Kazuki slips his headphones on as I rub my nose and go back to staring out the window.

This last week of school might surprise me.


	2. Chapter 2: Last Week of School

**Tama: Merp. Originally, the rest of this chapter was going to be written as _Psuedo Phantom_'s Chapter 3, but I decided to just merge them and stop cutting my chapters so short. xD Also - thanks to a good friend's advice - I edited the first chapter. ^u^ Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading!**

* * *

It's the last week of school, for all the seniors. All the necessary work is done, and we're practically ready to take the college entrance exams. Except, I don't plan on taking them. I don't think serial killers worry themselves over college, especially if they're being chased by cops 24/7. I set foot on the school campus by myself since Kazuki claimed to have an errand to run before school, and - as if it were automatic - all the other seniors give me the evil-eye. This is a first, in all honesty. Most usually act as if I don't exist, and it feels awkward with them now acknowledging it.

Acting as their collective staring isn't creeping me out, I step into the school and directly into the locker room to change shoes. After doing so, I head over to my homeroom. They're all still staring at me. What for? And why's this bugging me so much? I close my eyes and try to search for a plausible answer for all this. I never told anyone at this high school about my dream. Did they find out somehow? The only person who should know is Kazuki. Before I can even come up with an answer, I feel a sharp pain in my stomach. My eyes shoot open and I see someone's arm bashing against my stomach. As I reach for my stomach, the arm shoots upwards and smashes my chin up with it. I land flat on my back as the guy who practically clotheslined me turns around and laughs at me.

"Oi Tsuchiyama! You should be more careful~!" He shouts while laughing. The guy then spits and I quickly lift my head back up before it has a chance to land on my face. Crap, that fall seriously hurt, too. I rub the back of my head and turn around to get a good look at this creep's face. Damn, he isn't there anymore. He wasn't haughtily laughing while going out on his merry way, like I'd imagine a jerk like him would do. But I do notice everyone else either laughing or whispering.

"He should've been careful, what if Tsuchiyama gets him first?"

"Tsuchiyama just got his face slammed in! I doubt he'd go for someone tougher than himself!"

"Don't say stuff like that, he can hear you! What if he gets you first?"

"Pfftt, oh please. I can take him on just fine!"

H-how? How'd did they find out? Kazuki didn't blab about it to everyone, did he? N... No. No he couldn't have. He wouldn't—he promised he wouldn't. I quickly stand up, pat the dirt off of my uniform and dart off into my homeroom class. I scramble for my desk the back of the class next to the unused chalkboard and slam my head on the desk. O-okay, that was a mistake. Now I've got even more stares glued onto me. I start hearing whispers like, "He's acting up now? In public?" and "He's acting even more out-of-place today than he ever was the past few years. You think he's gonna get someone?" How in the hell do they know? Wait, wait; I shouldn't overreact. What if they're talking about something else? Like some collective prank on me? Yeah, yeah! Let must be it! . . . If everyone were an complete idiot, it'd be. Ah crap, crap, crap, **crap.** I lift my head up, ready to slam it back down on my desk, when something taps the back of it. I swiftly turn around, ready to knock someone's teeth in.

"Whoa Tama, aren't you a hostile one~?" a voice says with a signature goofy-looking grin. Thank heavens, it's Kazuki. I let out a big sigh of relief and rest my head back on my desk. He gives me a confused look and taps my nose.

"What happened? You okay, man?" He asks me with worry in his voice.

"No, I don't think I am," I groan. I then grab his ear, pull it closer towards my face and whisper, "I think everyone else found out about that _dream_ of mine." Kazuki sort of jumps to his feet, causing me to lose my grip on his ear. The other students peer behind their shoulders for a few seconds and then go back to their own conversations. Kazuki and I watch the others for a bit, and Kazuki shoves his face closer to mine and quietly asks, "Are you sure? Did you accidently tell someone?"

"Tch, I doubt I'd tell any of these people about _that_," I reply with an annoyed tone of voice as I reach for his ear, "But did you—oh, I dunno! —_Accidentally _blab to someone?"

"H-hey, hey!" He whines, swatting my hand away, "Why would I tell anyone about that? Spreading a rumor about your best friend wanting to become a serial killer right after high school is exactly what people our age would eat up, y'know!" I let out a "Tsk!" as I lightly shove Kazuki's shoulder.

"Don't go having a fit, now," He says, with his goofy-looking grin popping up across his face, "Pout too much and you'll get wrinkles on that pretty face~!" I stretch my arm out to flick his cocky face, but he shoves it aside.

"Now, now, Tama. Don't go trying to let your frustrations out on me~" Kazuki warns me in a mocking tone of voice. He then leans in and whispers, "Get a girlfriend for that." He starts nudging me with his elbow as I feel my face get hot. I swear, this guy just loves messing with me!

"Kazuki, you ass!" I shout, while trying to hide my now-red face. Kazuki bursts out laughing and pats my back. He wipes a tear off of his face and snickers, "Aw, c'mon, Tama! I didn't know you were so easily embarrassed! A-and here I thought you were some emotionless rock~!" His laughs get louder and he even falls to the floor, holding his stomach. I move my hand down off of my eyes and peer over to see Kazuki still laughing his ass off on the floor. I kick at his side and groan, "C'mon now. . . I-it wasn't _that_ funny." But he continues laughing and crying, "Ah! A-ah, no! I-I can't stop! M-my stomach~!" I get ready to kick his side again when I hear someone in the room scream, "DON'T YOU DARE KILL HIM!"

The whole classroom goes silent. Everyone turns their heads over to the front door of the class and I see a really scrappy-looking girl standing there. She has bandages and scrapes all over her arms, legs, and face. Her hair is brown and sloppily tied into a long side-pony. What's her name? Is she even in this homeroom? Kazuki hops off the floor and dusts himself off.

I get up from my desk and try to whisper something to Kazuki, but before I do, the scrappy-looking girl rushes at me. She lunges her arm forward, trying to land a punch, but I swiftly shove her arm away. She scrambles for Kazuki, but loses her footing and falls flat on her face.

"H-hey, are you alright?" I ask, still confused as to what's going on. The girl leaps up from the ground and stands in front of Kazuki with her arms stretched out. Kazuki lightly taps her shoulder.

"Uhm. . . W-what exactly is g-?"

"I WON'T LET HIM KILL YOU!" she screams, "I WON'T LET THIS PSYCHOPATH EVEN LAY A FINGER ON YOU!"

P-psychopath? What is this girl talking about? Why's she shielding Kazuki like that? I glace over at his face and even he doesn't know what's going on.

"O-oi, Kazu—"

"DON'T BOTHER!" she interrupts, "IF YOU WANNA KILL HIM, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET ME FIRST!"

I look back at Kazuki, and what I see surprises me. It looks as if he's angry at the girl shielding him. I've known him for years, and I've never seen him get so angry. He grabs at the girls shoulder and she jumps up a little in response. She turns around, gives him a big grin and shouts, "Don't you worry your pretty little face~! I'll make sure this creep doesn't take you as his first victim!"

"H-hey, w—"

"That's enough." He says in a serious tone, "You're actually being really rude." I notice that Kazuki's grip on the girl's shoulder gets tighter, and she starts to wince at the pain. If this keeps up, everyone will think he's this girl's abusive boyfriend! I take a step towards them, but the scrappy girl notices me. She swings at me again, but I manage to duck before getting a black eye. She swiftly backs up, pushing her and Kazuki to the other side of the room. Ugh, this is beginning to draw a crowd. Where's a teacher when you need them?! Kazuki looks like he's a time-bomb about to explode any moment! I need to stop this before it gets too out of hand! Kazuki pats the girl's shoulders, grabs her and spins her around so that she's facing him. But before he can scream at her, another girl runs in and screams, "MINA! STOP ALL THIS CRAP RIGHT NOW!"

Everyone in the room now turns their heads towards the new girl on the scene. She has jet black hair, flowing down to the ends of skirt. She has shorter strands of hair that are dyed blue, resting at her shoulders. Her fierce blue eyes are glaring down at the girl whose name is apparently Mina. Kazuki immediately let go of Mina and the girl with the jet black hair marches up to the two. She swings at the brunette, but Mina instinctively pushes her friend's arm away.

"Why are you causing such a scene?!" she shouts, "School's about to start and you go barging into a class that isn't even your's!"

"B-but, Botan!" Mina whines, "Shimoda was in danger! I couldn't just leave him!"

"I wasn't in any danger," Kazuki chimes in, "You just barged right in and caused a s—"

"You were in danger! You were!" she shouts as she points right at me, "You could've been killed by _him_!" That girl who was called Botan widens her eyes as she looks at my face. Kazuki looks at the two girls' faces and looks back at me with the most puzzled look on his face. How did this even happen? Who made this happen? You know what? It's actually pretty funny how this all happened! Whoever managed to tell everyone about this is one sly bastard!

Out of nowhere, I can hear myself laughing. My laughing gets louder and louder the more I think about how sly this guy had to be to pull this off. Kazuki starts quietly chuckling to himself as everyone stares at me with honest fear and slight curiosity in their eyes. I hold my stomach as I laugh loudly and look right back at that Mina girl. She jumps when our gazes meet and quickly hides behind her friend, whose blue eyes glare down at me as if she wants my head on a stick. I fall to the floor, now laughing hysterically, though I'm actually trying to stop. Everyone staring at me like some sort of freakshow is a bit much, even for me. I cover my mouth to muffle my laughs and close my teary eyes. _It's so hilarious! Whatever this is spread around like a wildfire within a few hours!_

**DING! DONG! DANG! DONG!**

My hyena laughs were abruptly shut out by the first bell chiming as loudly as it usually does. I'm able to get up, though my stomach still hurts from cackling. Everyone either finds their appropriate seats or heads back to their actual homerooms, including that Mina chick and her buddy, Botan, who glares me down until they leave. I get up, fix up my uniform and head out of the classroom as well.

"H-hey, where are you going?" I can hear Katsuki ask, "Homeroom's about t—"

"I'll be in the infirmary." Is all I could tell him while closing the door behind me.

I'll admit, those two girls caught my interest—in more ways than one, I should add. That Botan girl especially. I feel my lips stretch out into a wide grin across my face as I make my way to the infirmary.

_I think I've found my first victim._


End file.
